I couldn't quite believe my ears when I first heard the news. Dragons aren't mythical beasts, they've found one in Peru. It was hidden in the jungle, far away from view but they're taking it to Paris now, to put it in a zoo. Pity the poor dragon, oh what a hullabaloo! 第一次聽說這件傳聞的時候，我簡直不敢相信自己的耳朵。在秘魯，有人居然發(fā)現(xiàn)了傳說中的龍，這意味著龍不再只是神話中的動物。據(jù)說，這條龍當(dāng)時正藏在遠(yuǎn)離人境的叢林里?？涩F(xiàn)在，他們正在把它送往巴黎，將要把它關(guān)進動物園里。一想到這條龍將要生活在嘈雜的人類環(huán)境里，就禁不住為它嘆息！ (And if you believed any of that, then I guess the joke's on you.) （如果你并非完全不信的話，我想，你已經(jīng)被這個笑話愚弄了。） Yes, it's that time of year again. April, the month of mirth and merriment. Back home in the UK, we call the first of this month "April Fool's Day". It's an annual celebration that dates back to at least the 17th century and likely originated somewhere in continental Europe, according to Alex Boese, author of The Museum of Hoaxes: A History of Outrageous Pranks and Deceptions. 是的，又到了一年中最輕松歡樂的四月。在我的家鄉(xiāng)英國，我們將四月的第一天稱為“愚人節(jié)”。著有《惡作劇博物館：史上最著名的惡作劇事件》（The Museum of Hoaxes: A History of Outrageous Pranks and Deceptions）的作家亞歷克斯·博斯（Alex Boese）認(rèn)為，一年一度的愚人節(jié)慶祝習(xí)俗至少在17世紀(jì)就有了，并且很有可能起源于歐洲大陸的某個地方。 The tradition lives on today in the form of practical jokes played on unsuspecting victims. Newspapers and other media outlets also get in on the fun by spreading silly spoofs on April 1. 如今，愚人節(jié)習(xí)俗的慶祝形式主要是對不知情者實施惡作劇。報紙和其他媒體也會在4月1日當(dāng)天炮制假新聞慶祝愚人節(jié)。 Usually, these stories feature something fairly fantastical or even outright absurd, such as the infamous "spaghetti-tree hoax" broadcast by the BBC in 1957. At that time, pasta was a something of a novelty in Britain and many were unaware of its exact provenance. Hundreds of the program's viewers were thus fooled into thinking it grew on trees, with a large number even phoning in the next day to ask for more information on cultivating their own spaghetti. 通常情況下，這些報道富于想象，有的甚至荒誕不經(jīng)。比如1957年由英國廣播公司報道的著名騙局 “意大利面樹惡作劇”（spaghetti-tree hoax）。當(dāng)時，在英國，意大利面還是一種新的外來食物，許多人并不知道它的確切出處。節(jié)目播出后，成百上千的觀眾誤以為意大利面是長在樹上的，許多觀眾甚至在第二天打電話詢問怎樣在家里種植意大利面樹。 Hence my little ruse about the dragon at the beginning of this column. It was a nod of the head, if you will, to hoaxers far greater than I. I put it in verse to make it clear that something was the matter, and by the final stanza all should have been cut and dried. 因此，在本專欄的開頭，我利用“龍”跟大家開了一個小玩笑。這是我致敬比我厲害得多的惡搞達人的一種方式。我把這個有關(guān)”龍“的玩笑情景化，使大家在文章一開始就了解到 “愚人節(jié)”惡作劇的內(nèi)涵，到了文章結(jié)尾，大家對“愚人節(jié)”惡作劇就不再陌生。 You see, my biggest concern this month isn't with fooling other people. On the contrary, it's with not making a complete fool out of myself. Because on April 15 I'm scheduled to give a speech on stage in Hangzhou, as part of a series of talks organized by China Daily called Vision China. 你看，我這個月最擔(dān)心的不是怎樣愚弄他人，而是我會不會反被愚弄，成為一個十足的傻瓜。因為4月15日，我將前往杭州，站在新的的講臺上演講，這次演講是中國日報新時代大講堂（Vision China）系列演講之一。 The only problem is, I've never really given a speech to a capacity crowd before. In fact, the closest I've come to that kind of public speaking was probably at my wedding reception back in November and even then, among friends and family, I was shaking like a leaf. 我唯一的問題是，我在之前從未在座無虛席的禮堂里發(fā)表過演講。事實上，上次參加這種類似的公開演講還是在我11月份的結(jié)婚典禮上。即便在那時，被親朋好友圍繞，我仍然戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢，仿佛一片被風(fēng)吹動的落葉。 I have heard it said that the real trick to addressing an audience lies in looking past the forest of faces, picking out two or three individuals and speaking directly to them. 有人告訴我，面對觀眾公開演講的真正訣竅是，在茫茫人海中挑選兩三位觀眾，直視他們，然后對著他們滔滔不絕。 Which no doubt is sage advice, if a little hard to follow. Especially when I've got a PowerPoint presentation and the whole thing's on a clock. 雖然這有點難以做到，但毫無疑問是個好主意。尤其是在我既要擔(dān)心幻燈片的展示，又要擔(dān)心演講時長問題的時候。 But I'm hoping that preparedness will be what gets me through in the end. So I'll knuckle down and practice, and if worst comes to worst, at least it's not going to be broadcast live online. 但我希望事前的準(zhǔn)備能幫我順利完成這次演講。因此，我會認(rèn)真對待這次演講，并不斷練習(xí)。更何況，即使最壞的情況出現(xiàn)，至少這次演講的內(nèi)容也不會直播出去。 Oh wait, it is? Damn. 等等，會在線直播？天哪！