特別鳴謝小伙伴Emily~以及她的微信公眾號(hào)【一碗單詞】
Polyamory
Being able to fall in love with more than one person at a time. No marriage has to be involved.
Polyamory這個(gè)單詞長(zhǎng)得貌似挺復(fù)雜的,拆開(kāi)給你看就明白了。
poly = more than one
poly這個(gè)前綴的意思是“不止一個(gè)”,那么polytechnic的意思是不是也可以想到啦?對(duì),“不止一種技術(shù)”,也就是理工院??@?,香港理工大學(xué)的英文就是The Hong Kong Polytechnic University。
amory = love
它的原型amour在法語(yǔ)中就是愛(ài)情(love)的意思,后來(lái)人們把a(bǔ)mour做成了一個(gè)詞根并引申了,am/em 都表示to love or friendly。比如,amiable (am=love, able=can) 可以愛(ài)的人,意思就是親切的,和藹可親的啦。所以你看,Amy這個(gè)英文名字是不是看起來(lái)更有愛(ài)啦?
因此,poly + amory連起來(lái)也就是——不止一個(gè)愛(ài)人。
國(guó)外的小伙伴們是這樣理解這個(gè)單詞的:
The state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. 同時(shí)有不止一個(gè)愛(ài)人的狀態(tài),其中每個(gè)人都知道并同意其他人的存在。
Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is not secrecy or betrayal. 多元之愛(ài)與出軌不同,因?yàn)閮煞蕉贾辣舜说牧硪粋€(gè)愛(ài)人,所以也就沒(méi)有所謂的秘密或背叛。
Unlike polygamy, people in polyamorous relationships stress the importance of open communication and equal relationships between partners. 與一夫多妻制不同,多元之愛(ài)強(qiáng)調(diào)的是坦誠(chéng)交流與平等的關(guān)系。
要談polyamory,就不得不提一個(gè)大IP,美劇《紙牌屋》中的總統(tǒng)先生Frank Underwood。 在這部奧巴馬都追的美劇中,當(dāng)Frank Underwood發(fā)現(xiàn)自己老婆Claire出軌,他對(duì)她說(shuō)了這么一段話。
He should stay on, because he can give you things that I can’t. Look, Claire, we’ve been a great team. But one person—one person cannot give everything to another person.
I can’t travel with you. I don’t keep you warm at night. I don’t see you the way he sees you. It’s not my permission to give, but you’ll do what’s right for you.
But I want you to know, if you wanted, I know you’ll be careful. And I’ll be fine. I mean, if we’re gonna go beyond marriage, let’s go beyond it.
其中讓小碗印象最深的一句話是:Look, Claire, we’ve been a great team.
婚姻是什么?家庭意味著什么?是無(wú)條件的忠誠(chéng),不計(jì)前嫌的寬容,還是相濡以沫的照顧?Frank Underwood的答案是,we are a team。咱倆是一支隊(duì)伍,是一條船上噠!而一支隊(duì)伍的目標(biāo)只有一個(gè)——前進(jìn)。我們兩個(gè)人結(jié)合的初衷是為了成就更好的自己,是為了一起走得更快更遠(yuǎn),而不是為了束縛彼此。
也就是說(shuō),妻子和丈夫自制始終,都是兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的自由的成年人。如果傳統(tǒng)的婚姻束縛了我們,那就讓我們go beyond marriage, let’s go beyond it.